I just realised I’ve passed the 500 followers mark on Instagram.
Whilst that’s not a remarkable milestone to most, it’s happened organically and represents significantly more people than I currently hang out with IRL.
A good excuse to do an ‘about me’ for the recent arrivals.
I am and do many things, but they all stem from one inspiration and motivation: being Bea’s mum.
And before you make the little eye roll and retch noise, please note that by doing so, you’re underestimating them, not me.
I think the phrase ‘old soul’ can be used too quickly, but there’s a profundity and tenacity that most will never know that comes from being a deeply intelligent and thoughtful person who has had to spend over half their life chronically and sometimes quite severely unwell.
Bone-deep tired, in pain, short of breath, and frankly stuck in bed while their friends and peers go out into the excitement of the world relatively carefree and increasingly independently.
I’m mostly camping it up on the outside – usually trying to emulate Regina George’s mum from Mean Girls – but how it feels on the inside is almost indescribable: the absolute joy and pain, pride and responsibility.
“Bea and Jill” – our joint art practice – is not some pageant mummy construct but a balanced and mutually challenging partnership. Bea has had ME/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) since a young age, so our relationship is much closer and more entwined than a typical mother/teenager.
ME/CFS, neurodivergence, disability and caring have a significant impact on our whole family’s day-to-day life and critically inform our views of our wider environment, from our community to the organisations and authorities making decisions that affect us.
A Collective, my non-profit, is inspired by my journey as a home educator, unschooler* and gentle parent: I aspire to meet everyone where they are, walk alongside them in loving acceptance, and foster curious playfulness, autonomy and agency. I don’t always manage it, but modelling failure, reflection and persistence is all part of how it works.
For Bea and I, coming together formally as a creative partnership acknowledges the complexities and challenges of our relationship – together and as individuals – and is a way to recognise, celebrate, and evolve the wonderful upside of how beneficial our life together has been for both of us: practically, intellectually, and spiritually.
We explore how and where we exist: in identity and stories, in places and spaces, virtual and real world, in relation to ourselves and each other.
A Collective does similarly as a group of neurodivergent creatives: extending that culture of care and belonging, interrogating the professional spaces we inhabit and how we can work together without harm.
My new project, The Story Sanctuary, will hopefully create an opportunity to do that at a community level, collaboratively with others less like ourselves, for better mutual understanding. Given everything that is happening in the world right now, this feels pretty important.
*Unschooling is a form of autonomous, child-led, ‘natural’ learning. It is a way of life, a practice that harnesses the motivation that comes from genuine interest and extends across the whole of family life rather than being limited to “school hours” or “education”. It encourages critical thinking, self-awareness and reflection and is particularly suited to neurodivergent families and children with learning differences.